In the search of the perfect man….
While surfing net, I came across the picture in which five skeletons were sitting on the dining table with wine glasses on the top. ‘Women waiting for a perfect man’ was the caption of the picture. “Just right” I uttered almost instantly about the concept and that remind me of a humor read somewhere. One day Santa Clause, perfect man, perfect woman and fairy were travelling together in car. Unfortunately they meet an accident and three of them died on the spot. Any guess about who must have survived?! Of course perfect woman, as other three are hypothetical. And by the way there is nothing like a perfect woman, women are always perfect (Hmm… I’m listening to you gals!!). Ya, that’s what Genetic experts also confirms. XX is the woman’s pair and that’s perfect. While XY is the man’s pair, which is imperfect as broken legged X becomes Y and perfection is lost!
Even though existence of ‘perfect man’ seems to be illusionary, since the history of mankind every woman is looking for a man who will get fit into her own ideas of Perfect man, Mr. Right, Ideal man, Complete man or Dream man whatever name she refers to. Recent time has seen implausible changes in woman’s psyche. They are freer in their expression, carrier focused, financially independent, and believing in gender equality. Moreover, they have started believing that there is nothing wrong in the change of their expectations from their dream man. With this change, every day their criteria of ‘perfect man’ are becoming more stringent. This has made the chances of finding such a man even more difficult.
The perfect man, a movie released in 2005 by Universal Pictures, had a plot similar to this search. Desperately looking for perfect man in her life, woman got depressed as her quest remains never-ending. Her daughter tries to sooth her by creating a presence of make-believe man. On behalf of this imaginary man, she sends her flower, gifts, cards and romantic mails. She does all possible things to cater her mother’s expectations from Mr. Right. Believing that she got what she has ever dreamed, mother falls for this perfect man and gets desperate to meet him, to marry him. Towards the end, daughter reveals the suspense that she is that imaginary perfect man and her mother’s quest remains unfulfilled. Apart from this reel life, in real life too; one can find innumerable examples where such quest has remained dispersed. However, women’s yearning to find the perfect man is always on. For a man, woman’s beauty is probably major criteria to look for but for a woman, there is a fix set of stringent like and dislike about her dream man. Every woman has such dream man in her life and she keeps waiting for him to enter in her life. Unfortunately, most of the time woman fails to get this man. Even in the beginning of relationship man seeming Mr. Right prove to be wrong with the passage of time. Most of the men end up to be an imperfect man when you interview their wives!
What I want to infer here is even purest of gold has some impurities in it and that is essential to give strength to ornaments, like wise some flaws are natural with man. However, expecting the perfect man in your life is not wrong but more realistically one has to prepare themselves for certain compromises too. Furthermore, expectations tend to change with the passage of time as priorities altar. Right man of one time no wonder becomes wrong man at other phase of life. Million dollar question is, if you do have to compromise in your would be man then what are those qualities which you should and should never compromise?!
The prime quality one should never compromise in her man is honesty. One should always remember, man who has a habit of making stories or going round the bush while talking can attract you by his clever talking but his hidden dishonesty can always keep you on edge in future. Man showing utmost honesty in his thoughts, sentiments, communications and relationships, is truly desirable at any stage of life. They are committed and keep their promises in all circumstances. They are trustworthy and have much needed clarity in their thoughts, emotions and connection. Trustworthiness and clarity always gives security, which is more or less indispensable in any relationship and marital relationship in particular. In other words honesty is a package which contains trustworthiness, clarity and security. Marriage is a relationship which starts with an anticipation of being together for rest of the life (although, now a day’s breaking apart is also cool!) and such anticipation is never going to get fulfilled unless you have a base of ‘honesty’!
The man constantly encouraging and helping her woman to create her own identity can be Mr. Right for most of the women. This is another quality that one should never compromise. The one, who accepts you; as you are and strive to make you better through his positive encouragement, is one of the most precious treasure of life. Even most self-reliant and accomplished woman feels fulfilled having such man in her life. On the other hand, man who; never encourage you, in no way appreciate good things in you and keeps irking you for your flaws can never be a Mr. Right.
Man having a good sense of humor can assure you of three qualities. First, he is frank and friendly. Second, during the crisis rather than getting tensed and irritable he will try to give you strength, warmth and hope. And finally, he is intelligent and takes life in a peaceful way. Time or life spent with such a man is mostly fun. Of course, life can really go difficult sometimes and they may end up getting tensed but they bounce back quickly. Simple logic one need to follow here is, light-hearted partner make your life cheerful while overwrought companion keeps you anxious without any reasons.
To me, these qualities should not be compromised if you are looking for Mr. Right in your life. Otherwise qualities like loving, understanding, handsome, ambitious, independent etc can get transform with time and different stages of life. With passage of time and adverse life events, loving man can turn unloving and understanding man can go indifferent, this is not impossible. Ambitious man can become workaholic, work may become his priority and Independent temperament gets converted into recklessness. In short, virtues like honesty, trustworthiness, compassion, cheerfulness etc are skin deep and a part of person’s inner core. While; looks, wealth, lovingness, understanding etc are like clothes. Time and circumstances have power to compel us to change our clothes but skin remains there all the time! Although all of us have skin but we need clothes, similarly apart from ‘must have’ qualities, Mr. Right also needs external makeup like qualities. For those, who can look beyond external accessories, finding Mr. Right is easy and for the rest, question remains “Where is Mr. Right?!”
End Note: Sensible man with some feminine virtues can be better life partner then macho man with cent percent masculine qualities.