The first step in improving competence in Emotional Intelligence is developing emotional self-awareness. It is generally agreed that all other emotional intelligence skills are based on recognizing and using emotional self-awareness to select the best response to situations that occur on a daily basis.
It is generally agreed that anger is a secondary emotion. There is always some other emotion that precedes the feeling of anger. The most common antecedents of anger include stress, anxiety, fear, depression, fatigue or hurt.
If we can learn to recognize and label our feelings, this awareness will give us time to determine how best to respond to feelings of anger. Anger is a normal human emotion. Anger is a signal of perceived danger. Everyone gets angry from time to time. Anger is a problem when it is too intense, occurs too frequently, lasts too long, leads to aggression or violence, impacts health, causes problems at work or school or destroys interpersonal relationships.
The way one responds to feelings of anger is learned generally from our families of origin. This is significant because any behavior that is learned can be unlearned and skill enhancement in emotional intelligence can be taught.
Emotional Intelligence skill enhancement for impulse control is emerging as the most promising intervention for coaches, counselors, psychologists, clinical social workers, human resource managers as well as the criminal justice system. Since Emotional Intelligence coaching include pre and post assessments, evidence of success or lack of success can be determined for each participant.
The American Association of Anger Management Providers is the official voice of professional providers of anger management in the U.S. This organization sponsors trainings on various aspects of anger management, stress management, communication and emotional intelligence.